January 2009
38 posts
"How to Get a Boyfriend" (explained by an 11 year...
blondesunflower:
1. Wear glitter eye shadow. Ignore that he’s shorter than you by, like, a foot. Practice roller-skating, because that’s what you’ll have to do together, but don’t actually own any roller skates, because that’s just retarded. Don’t say retarded, it’s mean to retarded people. Remind him not to say it either, but then crack up when he starts yelling RETARDED RETARDED RETARDED...
Top Date Ideas
blondesunflower:
1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence
2. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books
3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress uup us Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two,...
omg! hahaha story of my life
gifparty:
Watchditto what Eliza (blondesunflower) said
blondesunflower:
Yeah… So i’ve never seen Star Wars. This basically summed it all up for me.
Mike: Your prom was like fancy, it was on the ocean.
Tara: It's Long Island, you're always on the ocean, and that wasn't even the ocean it was the bay.
Mike: Did you see Dolphins?
Tara: There are no dolphins on Long Island.
Mike: YEAH.. but what about in the water?
Female Combacks
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and so will mine if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
Facebook Has some Serious Weirdos
You know how some people like to add you on facebook and they don’t even know you? I’m not talking about people who have mutual friends with you but you dont think you’ve ever met them, or if you both somehow go to the same school but you don’t think your paths have ever crossed. I’m talking about someone who has ZERO mutual friends with you and they live on the...
My Roomate Looked at me Weird When I played Songs...
angiepantstakesontheworld:
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
1 1 9 9 # # 9 6 6 3 3 2 2 1 9 9 6 6 3 3 2 9 9 6 6 3 3 2 1 1 9 9 # # 9 6 6 3 3 2 2 1
and then I got a little more skilled an upgraded to
Old McDonald Had a Farm
6 6 6 7 8 8 7 Old MacDonald had a farm 9 9 0 0 4 EEIIEEIIOHH!...
Tara's life is a hot mess
Tara: wait till you hear the new thing i did.
Tara: my life is a mess
Tara: a hot mess
ME: oh no
Tara: so i went to the movies tonight
Tara: $5 in sayville! woo
Tara: to see benny button again. its great
Tara: so my friend drove me home
Tara: and im walking across my front lawn
Tara: and it had drizzled a little when we were in the movie
Tara: so i go to put my foot on the walkway
Tara: not realizing the entire thing is iced over
Tara: and BOOOOOOM
ME: omg!
Tara: feet over head im laying on my back
Tara: and it hurts right now so bad
Tara: i cant sit here too much longer
Tara: my buttcrack is red
What Tara and I did on Friday:
We went (along with Mike) into town to pick up Tara’s Art supplies
We gave Mike money to buy some gum from the gas station across the street
We went to buy an egg-roll from the Chinese restaurant near the bus stop
We came to the conclusion that Upstate is even weirder than we previously thought. This is because, for some insane reason, the gas station in Oneonta doesn’t even sell...
